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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Chris Tucker To Focus Attention On Smaller, More Personal Rush Hour Projects

NEW YORK—Wishing to evolve artistically beyond the blockbuster Rush Hour franchise that has made him famous, actor Chris Tucker announced Monday that he would concentrate on a series of more intimate Rush Hour projects "closer to [his] heart."

"It's healthy for an actor to be challenged once in a while," said Tucker, who is currently working on an Off-Broadway musical adaptation of Rush Hour, a Rush Hour co-starring Jet Li instead of Jackie Chan, an experimental Rush Hour-inspired short to air on the Independent Film Channel, and a top-secret project tentatively titled Rush Hour 4. "Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not turning away from or disavowing the more mainstream Rush Hour work. In fact, I'm sure I'll be missing it while shooting Hora Pico in Spain this fall."

Tucker added he also hopes to start work on a novelization of Rush Hour sometime next year.

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