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Christian Bale Glad To Be Done With Most Humiliating Experience Of Professional Life

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Christian Bale Glad To Be Done With Most Humiliating Experience Of Professional Life

HOLLYWOOD—Calling the last decade the most embarrassing of his 20-year-long acting career, Dark Knight Rises star Christian Bale expressed relief today that his days of "dressing up in a rubber suit and pretending to be a comic book super hero" are finally over. "There wasn't a moment I went to work that I didn't feel completely idiotic affecting that ridiculous, gravelly voice or wearing that absurd black makeup under my eyes," Bale told reporters, adding that every time he looked at himself in a mirror while dressed as Batman he felt like a complete moron. "Here I am hanging from ropes, throwing around what are essentially children’s toys at 'bad guys,' and then to make matters worse, I have to say things like, 'I believe in Harvey Dent.' The whole thing was mortifying." When asked what the most fulfilling moment of his acting career was, Bale mentioned any time he had to do flying splits during the dance scenes in Newsies.

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