Christmas is almost here, but it's still not too late to buy gifts for your loved ones. Here are The Onion's tips for last minute holiday shopping.
BEATRICE, NEHere Comes The Son (Of God), the latest album by Christian rock band Fisherz Of Men, is being panned by Nebraska Christian-rock critics as passionless and uninspired. "This effort, if it can be called that, is nothing more than shallow feel-good meanderings and phoned-in musicianship," said critic Kevin Ames. "The questionable 'Drinking In Remembrance' and the tepid 'hard rock' cover of 'Lord I Lift Your Name On High' haven't got a prayer of winning new converts." Lead singer Seth Jago admitted that the band has been "going through a real personal Gethsemane."