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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Christian Rock Uninspired

BEATRICE, NE—Here Comes The Son (Of God), the latest album by Christian rock band Fisherz Of Men, is being panned by Nebraska Christian-rock critics as passionless and uninspired. "This effort, if it can be called that, is nothing more than shallow feel-good meanderings and phoned-in musicianship," said critic Kevin Ames. "The questionable 'Drinking In Remembrance' and the tepid 'hard rock' cover of 'Lord I Lift Your Name On High' haven't got a prayer of winning new converts." Lead singer Seth Jago admitted that the band has been "going through a real personal Gethsemane."

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