adBlockCheck

Christian Slater Dropped From List Of Names To Drop

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Originality

Christian Slater Dropped From List Of Names To Drop

Christian Slater Dropped From List Of Names To Drop

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Citing a rapidly lowering profile, the National Name Drop Index announced the removal of actor Christian Slater from the list of celebrity names to casually reference Tuesday. "Taking into account his lack of major roles since 1998's Very Bad Things and the flaccid box office of last year's Windtalkers, we have no choice but to classify Slater's name as undroppable until further notice," NNDI director Don Hall said. "Until Slater gains at least a supporting role in a hit feature or a lead role in a TV series, he is relegated to Dean Cain Memorial Limbo."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close