adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Christian Theme Park Features World's Largest Spanking Machine

Reston, VA—The Matthew, Mark, Luke and Fun Playland theme park opened Saturday to a record crowd, most of which came to ride the new Spankinator 7000, the world’s largest spanking machine. Developed by Playland technicians, the Spankinator has the ability to spank over 450 children at once, while blasting Bible quotes through 800-watt hydrophonic speakers. “Many parents simply do not have the time to spank and quote scripture simultaneously, especially in public,” park spokesman Father John Parks said. “Now, they can do it in a ‘fun’ and safe Christian environment, as well as take in a Mass or ride the You’re-Going-to-Rot-in-Hell-Go-Round.”

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings