adBlockCheck

Christopher Reeve Named Man of the Year By Inspirational Cripple Magazine

Top Headlines

Recent News

Fact-Checking The First Presidential Debate

Addressing issues ranging from national security to trade to their personal controversies, Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump squared off in the first presidential debate Monday. The Onion takes a look at the validity of their bolder claims:

Viewers Impressed By How Male Trump Looked During Debate

HEMPSTEAD, NY—Saying the Republican nominee exhibited just the qualities they were looking for in the country’s next leader, viewers throughout the nation reported Monday night that they were impressed by how male Donald Trump appeared throughout the first debate.

Poll: 89% Of Debate Viewers Tuning In Solely To See Whether Roof Collapses

HEMPSTEAD, NY—Explaining that the American people showed relatively little interest in learning more about the nominees’ economic, counterterrorism, or immigration policies, a new Quinnipiac University poll revealed that 89 percent of viewers were tuning into Monday night’s presidential debate solely to see whether the roof collapses on the two candidates.

New Study Finds Solving Every Single Personal Problem Reduces Anxiety

SEATTLE—Explaining that participants left the clinical trial feeling calmer and more positive, a study published Monday by psychologists at the University of Washington has determined that people can significantly reduce their anxiety by solving every single one of their personal problems.

Trump Planning To Throw Lie About Immigrant Crime Rate Out There Early In Debate To Gauge How Much He Can Get Away With

HEMPSTEAD, NY—Saying he would probably introduce the falsehood in his opening statement or perhaps during his response to the night’s first question, Republican nominee Donald Trump reported Monday he was planning to throw out a blatant lie about the level of crime committed by immigrants early in the first presidential debate to gauge how much he’d be allowed to get away with.

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Christopher Reeve Named Man of the Year By Inspirational Cripple Magazine

NEW YORK—Beloved actor Christopher Reeve, whose tragic paralysis vaulted him to new heights of public adoration—including a spot atop the Washington Monument—has been unanimously selected by the editorial staff of Inspirational Cripple magazine as its Man of the Year for 1996.

<I>Inspirational Cripple</I> magazine's hotly anticipated Man of the Year issue hits newsstands next week.

"Christopher was the obvious choice this year, even in a year so filled with unusually inspirational—and unusually crippled—candidates," said Inspirational Cripple editor in chief Ted Phillips. "His appearances at the Academy Awards and the Democratic National Convention this past year were unprecedented new achievements in mass inspiration. Stephen Hawking could not have done better."

Said Phillips: "Christopher Reeve truly embodies everything our magazine is about."

In addition to a cover photo of Reeve, the magazine will feature an eight-page story on the Superman star's long, inspirational struggle with his handicap, punctuated by touching photos showing highlights of his paralysis.

The issue also features a two-page foldout mini-poster of a paralyzed Reeve smiling bravely, inspiring the reader with his fortitude in the face of personal tragedy.

Due on newsstands next week, the Christopher Reeve issue is projected to be the biggest seller in Inspirational Cripple's 15-year history, outselling even December 1982's blockbuster James Brady/Teddy Pendergrass Co-Man of the Year issue.

Phillips is excited about the possibility of a big seller, but maintains he is happy just to provide a valuable service.

"As long as our magazine is getting out there, inspiring the non-crippled to count their blessings and get out there and achieve, and inspiring the crippled to find ways to be more inspirational, then I know I've done a good job."

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close