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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Chubby Jewish Boy Dreams Of One Day Being Next Apatow Muse

EVANSTON, IL—Sources close to Arthur Meyer reported that the overweight Jewish teen hopes to someday inspire film producer Judd Apatow to create a series of comedic vehicles for him to star in. According to friends and family members, the 14-year-old is working to develop the persona of a foul-mouthed, emotionally stunted young man who seems hopelessly crude and self-indulgent but is ultimately lovable and capable of redemption. "I've been practicing having 'guy moments' with my pals where we call each other gay, but not like in a bad way," said Meyer. "I just want to be a movie star who plays an everyday guy who spends all his time looking at or discussing pornography, and then somehow winds up dating hot chicks." At press time, Apatow had already produced six films slated for a 2010 release with Meyer in the lead role.

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