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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Archivists Unearth Rare Early Career Paul Newman Salsa

WESTPORT, CT—Shedding light on the formative years of the late actor and philanthropist, researchers cataloging the personal archives of Paul Newman confirmed Friday they had uncovered a long-forgotten salsa from early in his career.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:
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Chuck E. Cheese's Announces New Lower Prices, But The Restaurants Will Be Dirtier

IRVING, TX—Promoting itself as “America’s best value in family-friendly fun,” pizza restaurant and entertainment center Chuck E. Cheese’s announced a steep drop in its prices Monday, explaining the cost would be offset by a chain-wide lowering of hygiene standards. “We’re reducing the price of our food and making the games cheaper, but the entire establishment, from floor to ceiling, is going to be much, much dirtier,” said CEO Michael Magusiak, who confirmed that due to reduced standards of cleanliness, parents will now be required to sign a waiver before their children can go down a slide, jump in the ball pit, or touch any of the games in the arcade. “So just to be clear, there’s a trade-off here: While you’ll be paying less, your experience will also be pretty disgusting. Basically, we’re giving our bathrooms one quick swab at the end of the day and passing the savings on to you.” Magusiak added that all Chuck E. Cheese locations would make a small bottle of hand sanitizer available to their customers in exchange for 4,000 Skee-Ball tickets.

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Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

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