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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Chuck Yeager Dies In Fiery Kitchen Mishap

MOJAVE, CA—Chuck Yeager, the stoic, hard-living, daredevil Air Force test pilot whose never-say-die approach and fearless pushing of the limits of human achievement were immortalized in Tom Wolfe's The Right Stuff, died in a dramatic wall of flames Monday when a malfunction occurred in the electronic components of his kitchen’s microwave oven. Yeager—who had survived high-speed stress-induced blackouts, engine burnouts and experimental-jet crash landings to set altitude and speed records, including his legendary 1947 breaking of the sound barrier—was reportedly toasting several bite-sized pizza pockets at the time of the equipment breakdown. "Chuck could’ve gotten out," retired Air Force captain and longtime Yeager friend Vernon Sawyer said. "But he insisted on finishing what he set out to do: heat and consume those snack-food items. He was very brave."

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