Chuckling Cops Attempt To Imitate Sound Of Man Being Hit By Taxi

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Chuckling Cops Attempt To Imitate Sound Of Man Being Hit By Taxi

CHICAGO—After witnessing a fatal hit-and-run accident Tuesday, Chicago police officers Ed Malloy and Ron Garrity attempted to replicate the sound of a man being hit by a taxi. "First, there was the aiiigh, then a fa-wumpp ba-bumpp," Malloy said, stifling laughter. "Then, when he was bleeding from his mouth, he kind of went ggrrgg blibb-blibb." Garrity disagreed, saying the impact "sounded more like a tha-loomp poompf." Malloy said it was the funniest on-the-job incident since that junkie was stabbed in the ass.

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