Church Group Offers Homosexual New Life In Closet

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Election 2016

Church Group Offers Homosexual New Life In Closet

LAGUNA HILLS, CA—It is a typical Sunday in this conservative Orange County suburb, as the parishioners of Holy Christ Almighty Baptist Church gather for morning worship. Organ music descends from the rafters as the wholesome-looking congregation files quietly into the building. Seated in orderly rows, the assembled families stand for the minister's blessing and open their hymnals to sing.

Dennis Lindeman, a reformed homosexual whose natural sexual urges have been repressed with the help of the Lord.

Among them, his arm around his wife, smiling down at the fresh-scrubbed faces of his two young children, born-again Christian Dennis Lindeman sings his heart out, secretly imagining a huge, engorged cock thrusting all the way down into the back of his throat.

Difficult as it may be to believe, just three years ago, this 44-year-old churchgoing family man was a construction worker, nightclub regular, and self-described "party slut" in Los Angeles' seamy homosexual underground. But now, thanks to the friends he has made through the Orange County-based Reclamation Ministries, all that has changed. Today, Lindeman is living a new life, one of devotion to his wife and children, piety before the Lord, and intense self-hatred and shame in the face of his entirely unchanged sexual orientation.

"Before I was converted to the light of the Lord, I was constantly indulging my sinful, natural sexual desires," Lindeman said. "But now, with the help of Jesus, all those group gropes in the backs of abandoned trucks near the warehouse district are just so many shadowy memories, fueling so many secret masturbation sessions, followed by paralyzing attacks of guilt and fear, and frantic prayers begging forgiveness."

His motorcycle gear, leather cap and butt-plug long gone, Lindeman has finally found a place for himself in the house of the Lord.

"Thanks to my new friends at Reclamation Ministries, I am redeemed and born anew in Christ," said Lindeman, respected throughout the community as a hardware-store owner, youth soccer coach and Kiwanis Club treasurer. "Before, I never would have thought it possible that I could go without meaty, throbbing cocks pumping my lubed-up asshole on a regular basis. What's more, I never thought I could live with the crippling self-loathing and shame that denying my true self would bring. But with the love of Jesus and the strong support of my wonderful wife Diane, that miracle has come true."

A 1995 photo of Lindeman and friends at an L.A. gay bar.

Unlike during his days of sexual liberation, the act of coupling, Lindeman said, is now a wholesome, maritally sanctified act devoid of any physical pleasure, performed solely for the purpose of procreation, as God intended.

"I feel so much better about myself," said Lindeman, choking back tears.

Diane Lindeman, a former lesbian also rescued by Reclamation Ministries, agreed with her husband. "We live like God intended now," she said, sitting bolt upright next to her husband in a stiff-backed chair, holding his hand for photographers. "We know that Jesus loves us for putting our homosexual ways behind us forever."

"God, I miss eating pussy," she added, grinding her teeth. "Deeply internalized self-hatred consumes every fiber of my being."

Dennis and Diane met in 1995 at a "Choose Love" weekend retreat, a Reclamation Ministries-sponsored program designed to help convert homosexuals to lives of decency and morality. The two grow teary-eyed recounting the story of their first meeting, recalling how a group of Christians held them in their arms and prayed to God to take away their natural sexual desires. They are nostalgic as they recall their wedding day, and how, with the help and support of their Christian brothers and sisters, they were able to convince themselves that a life of heterosexuality was for the best.

"Jesus has given me a fresh start," Dennis said. "When I lock myself in the bathroom with the light off, crying for hours on end, I know He is there watching over me, ready to hurl me into the pits of eternal hellfire if I give in to my ferocious, unquenchable desire to cup in my hands the butt cheeks of a hirsute Latino and gently tug them apart as I work my tongue into his ass."

Diane agreed. "Christ has taken over my life," she said. "Everything I am has been transformed by my Savior, who judges all in His love. I can't think of anything else but His divine mercy and guidance. Once I had my entire fist up this one chick's cunt. It was so incredible."

Rev. Henry Spottiswood, founder of Reclamation Ministries and marriage counselor for the Lindemans, praised the couple as "yet another victory" for the side of rectitude and piety.

"While it is true that Dennis and Diane may still harbor homosexual desires deep within their hearts, this is all right, because God forgives them for it," said Spottiswood, who had numerous homosexual encounters during his teenage years but has never allowed himself to consciously acknowledge them. "The important thing to remember is that this is not about what Dennis and Diane want. It is about what God wants for Dennis and Diane."

Added Spottiswood: "There is room enough for all in the closet of the Lord."