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Politics

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.
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CIA On Torture Memo: 'We Need To Stop Writing This Stuff Down'

WASHINGTON—During a press conference Tuesday, CIA chief Michael Hayden expressed regret over the organization's inhumane interrogation tactics of simulating drowning, removing fingernails with pliers, and lacerating genitals, when he told reporters the practices should never have been committed to paper. "Geez, what the heck were we thinking?" Hayden said. "Our job is to protect the American people from this kind of disturbing stuff, and I don't know why we even jotted it down in the first place. Next time we'll just keep it to ourselves." Hayden also said the agency planned to remove the locations and mailing addresses of secret detention facilities from its official website.

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Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

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