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Cindy Halcombe And The The Cindy E-Zone

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

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WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Cindy Halcombe And The The Cindy E-Zone

As part of the continuing agreement between the Onion Sports Network and ex-intern Cindy Halcombe, here is a court-mandated guest post written by Halcombe.

Hi everyone! Cindy Halcombe here with my quarterly blogpost. Really should have had my lawyers fight a little harder for a more regular spot. That really would have bugged OSN. In particular, You-Know-Alex-Who.

So you know the drill, I just come on here and talk about what I want to talk about. Indiana local sports, my old high school lacrosse team, players I find cute. Basically whatever I want to do. So just to switch things up, I am making Alex Reiser submit a guest blogpost within my guest blogpost! Because I'm allowed to do whatever I want. Take it away Alex!

I Don't Want To Write This Blogpost by Alex Reiser

I don't understand why I have to do this. I don't have anything to say about stupid Indiana sports and I don't want to say it.

I will say that I understand that Cindy thinks what I did was lame but I do not think I will be doing it anymore especially since she quit and got a million dollars or whatever. So I don't see why she can't just let it go and not have a grudge. I don't have a grudge against her because I am not allowed to say that I do.

In conclusion, I hope Cindy and I can be friends because everything I said I was joking about I didn't find her attractive at all I swear.

Wow, thanks Alex! Shouldn't be too hard to squeeze a few more bucks out of OSN after that! I'm going to have you do more mid-post guest posts, that was an unexpected gold mine you just wrote out.

OK, that's enough from me! See you in three months and as always I make my promise to you: my fiery rage at Alex Reiser and everything he represents will never die and I will continue to destroy OSN in any way I can until he is fired.

Bye guys!

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