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Citizens Of Winnipeg Realize They Hate Hockey Now

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Citizens Of Winnipeg Realize They Hate Hockey Now

WINNIPEG—After hosting the first game of the newly relocated Winnipeg Jets last week, Winnipeg residents realized they have actually lost all interest in hockey in the 15 years since they last had an NHL team and in fact now despise the sport. “It was nice of them to think of us when they were moving the team, but when we look back on all those years we watched this dumb sport, it’s just embarrassing,” said local man Bobby Dolan, cringing at the sight of a Jets logo. “I checked out about half a period before I realized how much better my life has been without hockey.” As of press time, the Winnipeg-based investors who bought the team had left the deed to their arena and all of their 23 players with a sleeping homeless man curled up on a sidewalk.

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