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City Of Miami Delighted By Impromptu Parade

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

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RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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City Of Miami Delighted By Impromptu Parade

MIAMI—Calling the seemingly unplanned celebration “quite the party,” city residents were reportedly delighted at the impromptu parade that broke out in downtown Miami on Monday. “Well! It’s certainly not every day you walk out your front door to see a giant parade rolling by for no reason,” said local retiree Glynnis Larson, 63, who added that it had been nearly a year since the last time she saw such a spirited rally spontaneously erupt on a random weekday. “And just look at all those tall young men cheering on top of that double-decker bus—they look like they’re having a really nice time. This truly is the greatest city in the world.” Following the passing of the unidentified parade, the 400,000 Miami residents who attended the event reasoned that it was probably for some sort of pre–Fourth of July celebration.

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