adBlockCheck

Recent News

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
End Of Section
  • More News

City Planner Gets Halfway Through Designing City Before Realizing He’s Just Doing Philadelphia Again

DES MOINES, IA—Saying that his designs felt oddly familiar as he was drafting them, urban planner William Reston confirmed Monday that while envisioning a revitalized downtown for Des Moines, IA, he had absentmindedly laid out the preexisting city of Philadelphia. “I was just thinking about putting the city’s main art museum and premier university on opposite banks of the river when all of a sudden it hit me: This is Philly!” Reston said after his project-stalling blunder, during which he gave Des Moines a sports complex with three major venues, 24 square blocks of colonial-era architecture, and a centrally located City Hall topped by a statue of a prominent regional historic figure. “Honestly, I really should have spotted it when I changed Western Gateway Park’s name to JFK Plaza and added Robert Indiana’s LOVE sculpture, but for whatever reason it just made sense at the time.” Reston then made an effort to hide his error by mixing some obscure Seattle neighborhoods into his layout.

More from this section

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close