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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Clairvoyant Vince Vaughn Accepts Movie Role Before It's Offered

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Vince Vaughn telephoned his agent Norman Falbaum Monday, saying only, "Tell Owen yes." According to Falbaum, the phone rang again five minutes later, and Vaughn was offered a part co-starring with Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers 2: Crashing Manhattan. "I don't know how Vince does it," Falbaum said. "Completely out of the blue, he says, 'I'll take it!' And then the phone rings—Anchorman. Or it's, 'Norm? Vince. I love the script,' and I'm like, 'What script?' Five minutes later, Starsky & Hutch crosses my desk." Falbaum added that Vaughn's supernatural abilities have failed him only once, when he accepted the lead role in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, failing to foresee that it would not be offered.

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