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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Clemson Athletic Director Rips Into Player Who Isn’t Putting Academics First

CLEMSON, SC—Sources have confirmed that following a review of the latest academic progress reports, Clemson athletics director Dan Radakovich tore into an unnamed member of the Tigers football team yesterday for not putting education first. “Look, son, you are a student-athlete here, and the student comes first,” Radakovich told the 310-pound man, adding that he doesn’t give a damn how much money the football team brings in each year. “When our boosters fund your scholarship, they expect to see you show up every Tuesday and Thursday for lecture and take advantage of all this university has to offer, got it? You think we care about our number of wins, some rivalry game, or our school’s profile? No. We care about your education.” Radakovich reportedly concluded by informing the player that everyone will be pulling for him this weekend as he studies for Monday’s midterm.

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