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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Cleveland Browns Gearing Up To Punt Ball Down Opponents’ Throats

CLEVELAND—Claiming they want to impose their will against the competition, Cleveland Browns head coach Rob Chudzinski announced Friday that the team is gearing up to aggressively punt the ball down opponents’ throats this season. “We just signed T.J. Conley, who is an electrifying power punter, so you’re going to see this team transitioning to more of a boot-it-up-the-gut style of football,” said Chudzinski, adding that the Browns planned to line up in the punting formation 25-30 times a game. “I hope we’ve found a dominant, explosive punter who can relentlessly pound the ball with his foot. I won’t be satisfied unless we’re punting wild over defenses.” Chudzinski told reporters that the Browns were not opposed to having two or three punters on the roster and punting by committee.

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