Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Cleveland Browns Players Amazed By Star Rookie Comfortable Walking Around Shirtless

CLEVELAND—Generating an excited buzz throughout the first three weeks of training camp, Cleveland Browns coaches and players have been amazed by how comfortable star rookie defensive end Myles Garrett appears walking around shirtless, sources confirmed Monday. “In my eleven seasons here, we’ve never had a guy with this kind of confidence and swagger,” said left tackle Joe Thomas, noting that a stunned hush fell over the team on the first day of training camp as they stared at Garrett in absolute awe when he self-assuredly jogged out onto the field for warmups wearing nothing but mesh shorts. “He’s never given being shirtless a second thought, you can tell he’s just that fucking bold and poised. It’s incredible having somebody around who has no doubt they can pull off that off, and I know it’s starting to rub off on the other guys.” At press time, sources confirmed that the entire team had timidly gathered to witness Garrett make eye contact with a reporter during a post-practice interview.

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