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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Cleveland Sportswriter Compares LeBron James To Craig Ehlo

CLEVELAND—Plain Dealer columnist Brandon Long, attempting to grade the playoff performance of Cavaliers forward LeBron James in terms his readers would understand, made extensive comparisons between the league's top young player and former Cavs forward Craig Ehlo. "Some may say Craig Ehlo would not have allowed the Pistons to get inside his head, take him out of the game, and limit his scoring in the third quarter," Long's Tuesday column read in part. "Only the most die-hard Cavs fans would deny that James has Ehlo beat in terms of pure talent. I'm going to have to give it to James this time." Long is expecting to be inundated with reader mail after claiming that James, unlike Ehlo, will most likely not exit the playoffs by having Michael Jordan shoot a series-clinching jumper over him.

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