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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Clinton Sold

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Clinton was sold at an invitation-only Sotheby’s auction Sunday, purchased by well-known British financier Owen Barasman. Clinton, who went for $425,000, was the highlight of an auction that also included an original Huckleberry Finn manuscript, two rare Han Dynasty vases and several sets of expensive cutlery.

“I believe I was sold for a fair price,” said Clinton, who was shipped to one of Barasman’s private London galleries yesterday. “I look forward to being a part of his impressive collection of rare and beautiful artifacts.”

Because of the auction, Clinton was forced to cut short a West Coast trip, during which he met with California Gov. Pete Wilson to survey flood damage in Northern California.

“It will be difficult to complete my West Coast visit from this shelf,” said Clinton, speaking from his new display area, between a Victorian-era porcelain figurine and 17th century English musket.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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