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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Club Has Big Hit With Closed-Mic Night

CLEARWATER, FL—The Ars Nova Café has enjoyed massive success since introducing its signature closed-mic night, coffeehouse manager Peter Haney, 38, said Tuesday. "In August, I did away with the Monday Night Amateur Showcase," Haney said. "Since then, Monday has been our busiest night. Who would've thought that people prefer conversation to bad acoustic-guitar music and wretched poetry?" Having noted the success of the café's Absolutely-No-Live-Entertainment Monday, the bar next door recently announced plans to launch No-House-Band Saturday.

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