adBlockCheck

Entertainment

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
End Of Section
  • More News

CNBC: 'Anyone Who Owns A Suit Can Come On Television'

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ—Citing a need to provide quality programming 24 hours a day, CNBC has extended an invitation to anyone who owns a suit to drop by the financial news network and be a guest expert, cohost a show with Larry Kudlow, or do whatever. "Don't worry about what kind of shape your suit is in," said CNBC president Mark Hoffman, who explained that his network's studio has an iron and some old phone books that people can press their jackets on. "Just come on down, run a comb through your hair, and if you're here by 8 a.m., we'll have you on Squawk Box at 8:15 making stock picks. But don't forget your suit!" Hoffman added that men of ruddy complexion with neck sizes exceeding 19 inches are not required to wear a tie.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close