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CNN To Get All Information From In-House Channel 'CNN-CNN'

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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CNN To Get All Information From In-House Channel 'CNN-CNN'

ATLANTA—In a telejournalism first, CNN announced Monday that from now on, all of its information will come from its own 24-hour, closed-circuit news channel, "CNN-CNN." "The old method of gathering news, in which information was culled from the Associated Press, Reuters, our own reporters and the other 24-hour news channels, was inefficient and needlessly complicated," CNN owner Ted Turner said. "Now, we have a single, consolidated, in-house news source to which CNN can turn exclusively." If the venture is successful, an airport version of CNN-CNN, CNN-CNN-Airport News, will be launched for traveling CNN reporters.

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