adBlockCheck

Entertainment

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
End Of Section
  • More News

Co-Op Casino Robbed Again

ANN ARBOR, MI—The member-owned-and-operated casino known as the Sunshine & Sharing Gaming Cooperative was robbed Tuesday for the fourth time this month, with more than $250,000 reportedly being stolen from the democratically run gambling house's main vault. Although police are currently going down the list of the casino's members, all of whom have access to the safe for one weekend each month, in hopes of catching a break in the case, it is still unknown who was on cash-pile-guarding duty at the time of the robbery. "They even took the wicker basket we keep the money in," said a casino member and 1/360th-part owner known as "Stuef." "This is not my fault, okay, guys? I switched guard shifts with Petula two weeks ago. I even drew arrows on the sign-up calendar and everything." Thus far, no firings have been made or even suggested, but the casino's members have agreed to beef up oversight measures by replacing the position of casino pit boss with a 15-person pit coordinating committee.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close