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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Coach Has Difficulty Describing What Sort Of Win That Was

ORLANDO, FL—Following his team's 89-72 victory over the Memphis Grizzlies Monday, Orlando Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy struggled to characterize the victory at a postgame press conference, saying that the win was not emotional, dominating, close, or important. "You really couldn't call this an ugly win, since we outscored them in every quarter, but it certainly wasn't a good win, either, because we played a little sloppy early on and made a number of mistakes," said Van Gundy, who also ruled out the win being either easy, or tough, or having made some sort of statement to the rest of the league. "And it definitely wasn't a must-win. With 72 games remaining this season, it isn't going to help or hurt our playoff prospects. It just sort of was." Grizzlies head coach Lionel Hollins, however, instantly confirmed that his team's defeat was "another piece of shit loss."

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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