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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Coach Pretty Sure Heated Locker Room Dispute Over Unpaid Gambling Debts Will Work Itself Out

CHARLOTTE, NC—Stressing that there is “probably no need to get involved,” Charlotte Bobcats head coach Steve Clifford expressed confidence Thursday that a fierce ongoing dispute over unpaid gambling debts between two of his players will just work itself out. “They seem pretty upset right now, but I’m sure that if I give them some time and space, they’ll settle it amongst themselves before anything boils over,” said Clifford, adding that seeing the players physically restrained by teammates while one furiously demands that the other “pay the fuck up right now” is almost certainly just normal banter between guys in the locker room. “Given that they were only talking about a few thousand dollars from a card game, I’m sure they’ll resolve the whole thing pretty quickly—after all, these guys are professionals, so they know how to conduct themselves. It’s probably best for me to totally steer clear of this one and just let them handle it. Nothing much to worry about.” Clifford also confirmed that rumors circulating about both players keeping unregistered firearms in their lockers are “likely just a joke.”

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