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With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

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President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Coast Guard Going To Let Stranded Yacht Owner Sweat It Out Little More

LONG BEACH, CA—Though fully intending to assist the man eventually, U.S. Coast Guard authorities opted to let the owner of a 60-foot yacht stranded off the California coast panic a little longer Monday, the crew of the patrol boat Garibaldi announced. “Right now there is a gentleman in a captain’s hat and baby blue polo shirt running all around the deck flailing his arms, and frankly we’d like to watch a little more of that before we come to his aid,” Captain James Todman said of the hapless owner of the pleasure craft named Sea Breeze whom he had been watching through binoculars for the past 40 minutes jumping up and down while frantically setting off an air horn. “He’s fine for now; we’ve got our eye on him. We’re just going to wait for him to try to figure out his flare gun for a little longer and let him shout a couple more ‘maydays’ into the radio before we head over there and hook up the tow rope.” At press time, Todman had given orders to send the Garibaldi toward the disabled yacht and then continue cruising past it, just to see the man’s reaction.

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