adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Cocktail Party Gets As Wild As It's Going To Get

PROVIDENCE, RI— A cocktail party at the home of art curator Martin Conroy was already as wild as it was going to get by 8 p.m. Monday. "Oh, my goodness, look at Ted," said Marisa Pulsipher, spotting fellow partygoer Ted Kannell doing his impersonation of Boston Symphony conductor Seiji Ozawa. "He is just irrepressible." The party almost got wilder when Conroy pondered breaking out a bottle of Loch Morar 30-year-old single-malt scotch, but he ultimately decided not to.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close