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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Cocky Miami Dolphins Already Booking Hotel Rooms For Week 12 Game At Dallas

MIAMI—In what analysts are calling a brash move, the Miami Dolphins have decided to tempt fate by going ahead and securing rooms in a Dallas Marriott for their week 12 matchup against the Cowboys. "It's pure arrogance that would lead a team to reserve rooms in Dallas when there's no guarantee they'll even be playing by then," NFL Network host Rich Eisen said Saturday on NFL Total Access, adding that the Dolphins' decision to plan that far in advance is both "cocky" and "a total gamble." "Sure, on paper, the Fins have a chance to make it past the Giants and maybe even Kansas City, but why tempt fate like this? This team has to take it a game at a time." Dolphins head coach Tony Sparano informed reporters he has booked his room in a long-stay hotel, as he is not planning on going back to Miami ever again.

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