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Coco Crisp Shyly Asks Bob Melvin If A’s Are Poor

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Coco Crisp Shyly Asks Bob Melvin If A’s Are Poor

OAKLAND, CA—Upon realizing that opponents always seem to have better facilities, equipment, and players, team sources confirmed Friday that Oakland A’s outfielder Coco Crisp approached manager Bob Melvin and quietly asked whether their team was poor. “All the other guys have these nice big contracts, and we have to make do with practically nothing,” Crisp reportedly said while staring down at his feet, noting that the A’s have a tiny, shoddy stadium in a bad part of town that they have to share with the Oakland Raiders. “I just sort of noticed we hardly have any fans, and other teams laugh at us because our locker room is so old and beaten up. We’re different from them, aren’t we?” Sources confirmed that after listening to Crisp’s concerns, Melvin smiled and assured him that he need only look at the Los Angeles Angels to see that money isn’t everything.

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