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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Colin Kaepernick

49ers Quarterback

Strength: Lack of NFL experience still allows him capacity to move, use brain; Tattoos of realistic muscle definition make arms look huge; Uncanny ability to take advantage of someone being injured and steal their career

Weakness: Tall, brunette, weak-side blitzing linebackers; Still hasn’t introduced himself to everyone in offensive huddle; Before this month, best known as MVP of 2008 Humanitarian Bowl

Favorite Play (in order): Read-option, read-option, read-option, read-option, read-option

Skills: Pinpoint flexing accuracy; At this rate, will deplete entire turbo meter by third game of 2013 season

Flaws: Makes Jim Harbaugh look like a goddamn genius

Elusiveness: Used mobility and speed to evade Chicago Cubs

Passing: Shit, no, he’s taking off again

Favorite Tattoo: Little butterfly on lower back

NEXT: Michael Crabtree

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