College-Aged Female Finds Unlikely Kindred Spirit In Audrey Hepburn

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Vol 49 Issue 36

Onion Sports’ NFL Week One Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL Week One games: Ravens at Broncos OSN’s Lock Of The Week: Broncos — The Broncos will win this game in a 49-27 rout o...

Nicole Walden

A memorial service will be held Friday for Nicole Walden, the world’s first “Nikki,” who passed away peacefully yesterday at 92.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

College-Aged Female Finds Unlikely Kindred Spirit In Audrey Hepburn

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—Acknowledging that her improbable affinity for the actress must come as quite a surprise, University of Virginia sophomore Emily DeLong revealed Wednesday that she has found an unexpected kindred spirit in golden age of Hollywood star Audrey Hepburn. “It may seem like an odd thing to say, but I think my favorite actress might be Audrey Hepburn,” said the 19-year-old DeLong, adding that while no one would ever suspect it, she has a Breakfast At Tiffany’s poster hanging in her dorm room. “She was so elegant and down to earth all at the same time, and something about her beauty was just timeless, you know? A lot more so than today’s celebrities.” In another statement coming completely out of left field, DeLong said she had recently bought a vintage film camera and was getting into photography.

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