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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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College-Aged Female Finds Unlikely Kindred Spirit In Audrey Hepburn

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—Acknowledging that her improbable affinity for the actress must come as quite a surprise, University of Virginia sophomore Emily DeLong revealed Wednesday that she has found an unexpected kindred spirit in golden age of Hollywood star Audrey Hepburn. “It may seem like an odd thing to say, but I think my favorite actress might be Audrey Hepburn,” said the 19-year-old DeLong, adding that while no one would ever suspect it, she has a Breakfast At Tiffany’s poster hanging in her dorm room. “She was so elegant and down to earth all at the same time, and something about her beauty was just timeless, you know? A lot more so than today’s celebrities.” In another statement coming completely out of left field, DeLong said she had recently bought a vintage film camera and was getting into photography.

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