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College Baseball Prospect Comes Home To Find Scott Boras In Living Room

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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College Baseball Prospect Comes Home To Find Scott Boras In Living Room

ATLANTA—Star Georgia Tech catcher Matt Wieters returned to his off-campus apartment following a 3-for-4, two RBI performance Monday, only to find a man he instantly recognized as MLB agent Scott Boras seated in a black leather swivel chair directly facing the door. "I've been expecting you," Boras reportedly said before uncrossing his legs, extinguishing his cigar, and snapping open a metal briefcase full of $100 bills. "I've been watching you, Matthew. Oh, yes, I have. And I'm going to make you a very rich man indeed. Now, I'm going to leave this briefcase here and be on my way. Do I have to tell you that I was never here? I thought not." In other Boras-related news, NC State pitching prospect Andrew Brackman recently reported falling asleep after eating a pizza delivered by "an anonymous fan" and waking up hours later bound and gagged in the back of a nondescript, windowless limousine en route to Yankee Stadium.

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