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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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College Baseball Prospect Comes Home To Find Scott Boras In Living Room

ATLANTA—Star Georgia Tech catcher Matt Wieters returned to his off-campus apartment following a 3-for-4, two RBI performance Monday, only to find a man he instantly recognized as MLB agent Scott Boras seated in a black leather swivel chair directly facing the door. "I've been expecting you," Boras reportedly said before uncrossing his legs, extinguishing his cigar, and snapping open a metal briefcase full of $100 bills. "I've been watching you, Matthew. Oh, yes, I have. And I'm going to make you a very rich man indeed. Now, I'm going to leave this briefcase here and be on my way. Do I have to tell you that I was never here? I thought not." In other Boras-related news, NC State pitching prospect Andrew Brackman recently reported falling asleep after eating a pizza delivered by "an anonymous fan" and waking up hours later bound and gagged in the back of a nondescript, windowless limousine en route to Yankee Stadium.

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