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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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College Freshman Already Loves It

BOSTON—According to roommate sources, 18-year-old Lauren Frand called her older brother, Jason, 24, just hours after being dropped off at her co-ed dormitory Sunday to tell him how much she already loves being a college student. "I was just in the dorm across the hall and we were all listening to this kid playing James Blunt songs on his acoustic guitar," said Frand, who also expressed excitement at hearing that professors rarely take attendance. "My schedule is really great because it allows me to wake up every morning at 9 a.m.—way later than I had to in high school." Frand added that she's stoked to finally be an independent adult without anyone watching out for her.

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