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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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College Roommates To Continue Bonding Process Until Real Friends Made

BOSTON—Sources at Boston University's Shelton Hall reported Monday that freshmen Paul Seltzer and Michael Thiru will continue building a rapport with each other until one of them has found a group of real friends, after which the randomly paired roommates will gradually cease their social interactions. "Until I meet people I genuinely like and want to be around, it's nice to have this kind of interim friendship with someone I can go to the dining hall and house parties with," said Seltzer, whose recent trip to the campus computer store to help Thiru get a printer will later be remembered as an odd fragment from his early pre-friend college days. "Soon enough we'll just be two classmates who share a room and awkwardly say hello when passing each other on the quad." In addition, Seltzer will reportedly continue receiving communications from his former high school girlfriend until an unspecified date in September, when she finds her real romantic partner.

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