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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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College Senior Holding Out Hope That Internship Will Lead To Class-Action Lawsuit

NEW YORK—Aiming to transition seamlessly from her current position, college senior Molly Black is holding out hope that her current internship with BrownLink Media will lead to a class-action lawsuit, sources confirmed Monday. “I spend 12-hour days here, six days a week, so I think I have a decent shot of leveraging this experience directly into a legal battle against the company,” said Black, 21, adding that working through her legally mandated lunch hour would likely further increase her chances of staying on long-term as a plaintiff in a multiyear trial. “I think if I keep my nose to the grindstone like this, there’s a pretty good chance I’ll get a slice of a huge settlement. Hopefully I’ll impress attorneys enough to make all this hard work worthwhile.” Black added that if the class-action lawsuit didn’t pan out, there was still an outside chance she’d be a good candidate for sexual harassment litigation.

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