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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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College Unveils New Media Center Every Month

WASHINGTON—Having described each of the state-of-the-art facilities as crucial to serving the evolving needs of the college’s student body, campus sources confirmed Wednesday that George Washington University has unveiled a new media center every single month for the last five years. “I’m pleased to announce the opening of the Carroll-Eldridge Media Center, which will offer our students a unique and cutting-edge learning experience,” Dean of Students Dr. Peter Konwerski said of the school’s newest media center, which—like the recently constructed Decker Media Center, Sheila and Arthur Bergmann Media Center, Eugene Willis Media Arts Center, Sussman Media Center, Michael Schwartz Media and Computer Center, David Schwartz Media and Computer Center, and Benjamin Coleman Media Center—boasts a fully furnished computer lab, soundproofed recording studios, and a media rental library containing more than 75,000 audiovisual titles. “This ultramodern facility will also feature dozens of video projectors, music practice rooms, and a 450-seat auditorium that dwarfs the nearby Clayton Media Center’s 350-seat auditorium. It will ensure that our student body has full access to all the conveniences they require, while also allowing GW to remain competitive with other colleges that are adding their own media centers.” Konwerski later noted that undergraduate tuition will rise approximately $6,000 next year.

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