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College Unveils New Media Center Every Month

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Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

How Dating Sites Match Their Users

With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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College Unveils New Media Center Every Month

WASHINGTON—Having described each of the state-of-the-art facilities as crucial to serving the evolving needs of the college’s student body, campus sources confirmed Wednesday that George Washington University has unveiled a new media center every single month for the last five years. “I’m pleased to announce the opening of the Carroll-Eldridge Media Center, which will offer our students a unique and cutting-edge learning experience,” Dean of Students Dr. Peter Konwerski said of the school’s newest media center, which—like the recently constructed Decker Media Center, Sheila and Arthur Bergmann Media Center, Eugene Willis Media Arts Center, Sussman Media Center, Michael Schwartz Media and Computer Center, David Schwartz Media and Computer Center, and Benjamin Coleman Media Center—boasts a fully furnished computer lab, soundproofed recording studios, and a media rental library containing more than 75,000 audiovisual titles. “This ultramodern facility will also feature dozens of video projectors, music practice rooms, and a 450-seat auditorium that dwarfs the nearby Clayton Media Center’s 350-seat auditorium. It will ensure that our student body has full access to all the conveniences they require, while also allowing GW to remain competitive with other colleges that are adding their own media centers.” Konwerski later noted that undergraduate tuition will rise approximately $6,000 next year.

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