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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Colorado Legalizes Medicinal Fireworks

DENVER—Establishing Colorado as a pioneer in recognizing the therapeutic benefits of explosions, a new law passed Tuesday will allow state residents with a doctor’s prescription to acquire small quantities of medicinal fireworks. “Studies have shown that many patients suffering from chronic pain, glaucoma, or debilitating terminal conditions have responded positively to fireworks, with most showing visible improvements in mood and well-being through repeated use; so my question is, why shouldn’t they be able to obtain small amounts of pyrotechnics safely and legally?” said Sen. Andy Kerr, who authored the legislation that provides Coloradans in need with up to 20 ounces of bottle rockets, flying spinners, aerial shells, or loose flash powder each month. “For many people going through intensive chemotherapy or suffering from frequent seizures, lighting up a Roman candle in the privacy of their own property or packing a mailbox full of M-80s and seeing it get blown sky-high has a strong beneficial effect on their overall wellness. Who are we to deny the most ailing among us the comfort that loud, colorful explosions can offer?” Kerr added that the tax revenue from the state’s network of regulated fireworks dispensaries would more than cover the cost of education and treatment for those who abuse fireworks recreationally.

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