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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Colt McCoy's Unusually Tragic Boyhood Dream Comes True

PASADENA, CA—Following a 37-21 loss to Alabama in which he suffered a game-ending injury just five plays in and was forced to watch the Crimson Tide defense take advantage of his absence, Texas quarterback Colt McCoy told reporters that the heart-breaking defeat fulfilled a depressing dream he has had since he was a boy growing up in New Mexico. "I think every kid, whether he is playing high school football or a pickup game with friends, imagines what it would be like to one day lead your team to the Rose Bowl, stand on the sidelines, and then helplessly watch your team get dismantled on the grandest stage imaginable," said a teary-eyed McCoy, adding that the irony of never missing a game due to injury until the most important game of his life was just icing on the cake. "This was a dreadful storybook ending. I really couldn't ask for more." McCoy added that he plans on fulfilling another of his wretched boyhood dreams by being a bust in the upcoming NFL draft and having a largely disappointing NFL career.

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