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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Colts Claim To Still Be Undefeated: 'We Beat Ourselves'

DALLAS—Indianapolis Colts players and coaches informed reporters that their team still remains undefeated despite their poor showing against the Dallas Cowboys last Sunday, claiming that the Colts had in fact beaten themselves with a poor offense and a defense that collapsed in the latter part of the second half and had, therefore, technically won. "Let's get this straight—the only team capable of beating the Indianapolis Colts is the Indianapolis Colts. And, since we clearly did so, it follows logically that we're still undefeated," said Colts head coach Tony Dungy during a post-game press conference, adding that he is pleased that his team is still leading the American Football Conference by two games. "I have to tell you, it feels good to be 10-0. It might not have been pretty, but a win's a win." Dungy said he has already told his players to forget about this week's victory, and stressed that he was concentrating on making the playoffs and "hardly wasting any time whatsoever" thinking about staying undefeated.

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