adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
End Of Section
  • More News

Comic Book Fans Adamant That Human Torch Be Played By Actor Whose Body Actually Engulfed In Flames

WASHINGTON—Expressing their frustration with the casting for the new Fantastic Four film, comic book fans across the country were reportedly adamant Monday that the superhero the Human Torch should be played by an actor who is actually engulfed in flames. “They should have stayed true to the original comics and selected an actor whose entire body is on fire,” said longtime Fantastic Four fan Barry Reich, criticizing filmmakers for casting Michael B. Jordan, who, unlike the comic book version of the Human Torch, is not enveloped from head to toe in flames. “Hollywood screwed up big time. It makes no sense for Susan Storm’s younger brother, Johnny, to be played by a non-ignited man. Since 1963, the Human Torch has always been able to generate powerful streams of flames and fireballs, and to ignore that is insulting to Fantastic Four creators Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.” Comic book fans, however, reportedly commended Fantastic Four director Josh Trank’s bold choice to cast a hyper-intelligent actor with multiple scientific doctorates and an elastic body as Mister Fantastic.


More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close