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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Commentator Charles Barkley Objects To Hall Of Fame Induction Of Suns Forward Charles Barkley

ATLANTA—TNT basketball analyst Charles Barkley took time during last night's broadcast of Inside The NBA to lash out at the National Basketball Association's Hall of Fame selection committee for choosing to induct former Suns forward Charles Barkley. "He only averaged 22 points, 11 rebounds, and four assists for his career," Barkley said, shocking co-hosts Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith. "Anyone can do that. Hell, even I could do that." Barkley also noted that Barkley moved around to several teams, retired long after he should have, and is "most likely only getting inducted because of his personality." "I like a funny guy," Barkley said, "but I don't want to be a part of a league where somebody gets into the Hall of Fame just because he can crack a joke." Inductee Charles Barkley refused to address Charles Barkley's remarks, saying only that Barkley should focus more on the facts rather than blatant editorializing.

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