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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Commentator Charles Barkley Objects To Hall Of Fame Induction Of Suns Forward Charles Barkley

ATLANTA—TNT basketball analyst Charles Barkley took time during last night's broadcast of Inside The NBA to lash out at the National Basketball Association's Hall of Fame selection committee for choosing to induct former Suns forward Charles Barkley. "He only averaged 22 points, 11 rebounds, and four assists for his career," Barkley said, shocking co-hosts Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith. "Anyone can do that. Hell, even I could do that." Barkley also noted that Barkley moved around to several teams, retired long after he should have, and is "most likely only getting inducted because of his personality." "I like a funny guy," Barkley said, "but I don't want to be a part of a league where somebody gets into the Hall of Fame just because he can crack a joke." Inductee Charles Barkley refused to address Charles Barkley's remarks, saying only that Barkley should focus more on the facts rather than blatant editorializing.

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