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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Company To Get Head Start On Christmas Layoffs This Year

OAK BROOK, IL—Confirming their intention not to wait until the last minute the way they usually do, executives at Visatex Inc. said Friday they planned to get an early start on this year's Christmas layoffs. "I'm always so busy that I've been getting to our layoff list later and later each holiday season," said CEO Thomas Bar≠naby, adding that some of his more organized executive friends get all their terminations out of the way by Thanksgiving. "Last year we got so backed up that a few people didn't find out they were getting let go until Christmas Eve." Company officials added that they hoped the head start would give them a chance to actually relax and enjoy the holidays for once.

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