Company's Employees Spend Entire Day Touching Base

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Vol 47 Issue 12

The TuckScreen: Historical Documents Show Dream's Decline

People began to give up on the American Dream almost from the time it was created. Below, a letter from a riverboat porter written in 1901 shows some of the earliest written documentation of an American saying, "Fuck it, what's the point?" The ...

Message From The Mayor

A special message from Mayor Sue Hallinan: "Just wanted to let folks know that there's going to be a whole bunch of commotion down at Tuffy's this evening as several members of the national press will be in town. In case you haven't heard, our boy T...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Company's Employees Spend Entire Day Touching Base

SEATTLE—According to sources, employees at Gibbons Tech Supply Distribution spent most of Monday touching base. "I'm going to touch base with Kevin on this, and then let's loop Amy in just so we're all on the same page," said Peter McEntire, supervising manager for Gibbons Tech, who spent five of his eight-hour workday touching base with clients via e-mail and CC'ing coworkers. "It's important to make sure everyone's up to speed." Sources re­ported that by day's end, all essential Gibbons employees had been filled in except for assistant sales manager Ted Breskin.

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