GREENVILLE, NC—Aiming to accommodate family members’ preferences and avoid any frustration, local parents Melissa and Ron Walters officially designated the upstairs television for anybody who did not want to watch the Thanksgiving football games on Thursday, sources reported.
AUSTIN, TX—The praise leveled at the tweed pants currently worn by record-store clerk Anton Eklund's by longtime friend Bernard Woelters sounds suspiciously like an overture to larcenous action, Eklund said Monday. "Those are really, really nice pants. How do they fasten, exactly? Where would you keep pants like that—in a closet, a dresser, hanging on a peg?" Woelters is reported to have asked Eklund at a party over the weekend. "Pretty wide cuffs on them too, I see. Can they be yanked off over your shoes without being damaged?" Though Eklund has no concrete proof that the pants are at risk, he is considering purchasing a more secure belt.