KATY, TX—Sighing at yet another totally expected moment, local man Bradley Wuster, 38, told reporters Friday that he could already guess how his life was going to end despite only being halfway through.
AUSTIN, TX—The praise leveled at the tweed pants currently worn by record-store clerk Anton Eklund's by longtime friend Bernard Woelters sounds suspiciously like an overture to larcenous action, Eklund said Monday. "Those are really, really nice pants. How do they fasten, exactly? Where would you keep pants like that—in a closet, a dresser, hanging on a peg?" Woelters is reported to have asked Eklund at a party over the weekend. "Pretty wide cuffs on them too, I see. Can they be yanked off over your shoes without being damaged?" Though Eklund has no concrete proof that the pants are at risk, he is considering purchasing a more secure belt.