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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Concert Spent Constantly Verifying Presence Of Coat-Check Ticket In Pocket

PROVIDENCE, RI—Eric Zamore, 28, reportedly spent the majority of a concert Friday night frantically confirming that his coat-check ticket was still in his pants pocket. "I got really freaked out for a second because I thought I'd left [the ticket] at the bar, but it turned out I'd just moved it to a different pocket," said Zamore, recalling how he had transferred the numbered paper stub for safekeeping while getting out some money to pay for a drink. "After that, I kept my hands in my jeans pockets so I could keep better tabs on it. I tried to applaud between songs, but got tired of doing all that double-checking afterward." Zamore was later seen claiming his coat early and listening to the show's 25-minute encore with his down parka tied around his waist.

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