The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at the horror classic 'The Shining' in this week's Film Standard
WASHINGTON, DCNational Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice announced Tuesday that she is "extremely distressed" that her lunch is missing from the White House break-room refrigerator. "I'm not going to ask twice: Who ate my turkey-and-avocado sandwich?" Rice asked Cabinet members. "My name was written right on it'C. Rice' in thick, red magic marker, so don't tell me it was an accident." Rice vowed that she will make whoever ate the sandwich buy her a whole new lunch.