NEW YORK—According to sources throughout the commercial aviation sector, the nation’s airlines will begin installing awkwardly placed bumps in every airplane seatback this week because it reportedly brings great pleasure to them.
NEW YORK—Sources at the NuVista advertising agency have confirmed only moments ago that the ongoing conference call with headquarters in Chicago is going awesome. According to marketing agent Jared Meader, the call, which is currently taking place in the office's glass-walled conference room, has not only managed to secure the input of both vice president/account supervisors, but has reportedly "blown through" three new-market initiatives in under 40 minutes. "John [Shore] just gave everyone a thumbs-up," Meader said. "It's going better than we thought." As of press time, the conference call has not yet ended, though Meader said there is no indication that the call is going any less awesome than it was before.